Dreams

Yesterday I cryed harder than I had ever cryed before. The reason I cryed so hard and sobbed for 2 hours on my bed is not because of a boy, or someone dieing. It was because I did not make the school musical. I thought I would be fine if I didn't make it. I mean I'm a freshman, freshman don't make the musical. Only I wanted it so bad.
You see it also did not help that four of my best friends did make it, one even got a part. That just sucked. My favorite thing in the world is theater and I just was so sad that I don't get to do it. Theaters the only thing I love, love. It's the only thing I can see myself doing forever. Now my friends are going to be able to put that they were in the musical their freshman year on their college applications, and their going to have a ton of memories together without me. That's all I can think about.
Do you really think that the big Broadway stars didn't make their musical. I bet they did. Lots of people say that they want to be famous, or on Broadway, or a singer, or in the movies when they get older. Only that's all I will ever want. So all I can think about is how that's will probably never happen.
I hate politics. My mom said it's probably all politics. Such as you gotta let some seniors in and that you can only have as many girls as you have boys. Well there will always be a shortage of boys.
I guess I will just have to keep trying. Work at it more. Take more dance classes, keep up with my voice lessons, and do more community theater.
I think the only reason I get so upset is because I want it so bad. Maybe I shouldn't want it as bad.... As if that will ever happen. I'll just keep trying out. Keep my head up. My time will come. Even if I never get a part. They will know my name. It's all I want to do.
Now that I think about it someone once told me you will hear a million no's, before you hear one yes. I'm just waiting for my yes.
Madi